This is the first article by Jeff Bob better known to us as BGSDKS on the sportbike board.  His sense of humor is even more sarcastic than mine and his writing definitely has a home here at the mad mind.  If you have a comment about this article please feel free to contact him!

The next Darwin Award?

I recently became aware of what might possibly be the breeding ground for the next generation of Darwin Award recipients – Skywalkerjets.com. For $200,000, you can purchase a home made, 8 jet engine, strap-on, death device that looks like it was made for an eighth grade science fair project.

Read more to see why we think this jetpack isn't likely to be your next mode of transportation. There are more reasons than just the pricetag... 

Note the extensive use of aerospace type materials; exposed wiring, no safety shields, duct tape, and aluminum tube ‘control arms’. All standard fare for a jet propelled device, right?

I’m thinking for $200,000, some part of it should be made out of titanium, or carbon fiber, or something. But let’s not worry about that right now, after all, it is just a prototype, right? (On the other hand, he did post it on eBay, and is trying to attract investors and stuff…) I’ll also have to assume that since this is a prototype and he doesn’t want anyone stealing his secrets (even though people have been building these since the late 1950’s) that he omitted any information that might be considered proprietary. Little things, like what kind of fuel does it use? What safety devices are there? Has anyone actually been stupid enough to strap this thing on and take it for a spin?

Perhaps we can get a better idea of the quality of this life threatening device by looking closely at the control panel. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m pretty sure that you can order that out of the Crutchfield catalog. (Look on page 27, under Science Fair projects.) Did you note the clever placement of the GPS unit provided? Me either, so I thought I’d ask. What I do see is a series of LEDs that supposedly tell you when it’s ok to shoot yourself off into the sky. Also, note the clever use of styling cues. NOT! Nothing like taking an invention from the late 1950’s, butchering it, and claiming you have the best one on the planet. I don’t know about you, but I’ve got that warm fuzzy feeling already with checkbook in hand!

Enough with how the machine looks. Let’s get down to brass tacks and see what kind of performance numbers we’re talking about. Taken directly from his website:

• "Can fly for about three minutes."
• "Capable of flying for up to six minutes." (basically, there’s a three minute ‘guess’ period, during which time, you may or may not be flying)
• "Integrated GPS." (I’m going to assume at this point that it’s the handheld TomTom unit from Best Buy, but it might be a better one. Again, for $200,000…)
• "Weight – around 90 lbs." (This should make it quite marketable to the general public, assuming that you’re Samoan or an Olympic weightlifter. Otherwise, you’re just going to fall over backwards every time you put it on. And the minute you light it up, you’re going to go skidding down the street on your back. Luckily, you’ll only slide along for three to six minutes, so you might not get hurt too bad.)
• "The size of your average back pack." (I guess if your name is Hagrid it might be of average size. Otherwise, for the rest of us it’s like strapping a Yugo to your back.)

But enough about the unit itself. Let’s talk about the website that he’s advertising his Skywalker Jet Pack on. Skywalkerjets.com. My 8-year-old daughter using Frontpage could have come up with that. General rule of thumb; if you look like a poster child for America's Most Wanted don't post your picture on the front page of your website.

Secondly; "Skywalker"? Way to rip off one of the gayest names in movie history. Ever. I've already sent and email to George lucas.  He'll put an end to that.

“Up, Up, and Away". Initially, I was incensed at his use of this American iconic phrase, but then I remembered that Christopher Reeve, who played Superman, was a quadriplegic later in life, and that this ‘jetpack’ would probably do the same to you, so now it seems more appropriate.

But the part I like best, is the “How to purchase a jet pack” page.

“Before Skywalker jets can sell jetpacks, we must meet any F.A.A. requirements.” (How about meeting all of them? This isn’t a ‘pick and choose’ kind of thing)

“This process could take one to two years to complete. During this time we will be taking orders and improving on the Skywalkers safety, and operating systems.” (What that really means is ‘we haven’t done enough homework or put forth any effort at all to put together a prospectus to attract investors, but if you’re rich, and stupid enough to cough up $100,000 while I see if I can actually get this thing to fly, please send me a check'.)

It would also appear that Capt. Fantastic doesn’t understand general principles of Economics.
“At present, the total price for the Skywalker jetpack will be $200,000. If the orders grow to rapidly, the price will increase to keep the orders down to a reasonable level."

First of all, it's "too", not "to."

Second of all, if the orders come in that fast, HIRE MORE F**KING PEOPLE TO BUILD THEM!!! One can only imagine the conversation with the VP of Production:
"You know, Ted... we're making $100,000 profit on each one of these, but the orders are coming in too fast, so I think we should price ourselves out of the market so that people stop ordering them…” Duh.

At a bare minimum, keep jacking up the price until the orders slow down because demand/pricing has reached a level of stasis, not because you want to keep the orders down to a “reasonable level”. Probably just a matter of semantics, but I think that if you’re asking $200,000 for an unlicensed, unproven, potentially life threatening item, you should have at least a shred of a clue.

I think I’ll pass for now and just keep an eye on my inbox over the next year or two. I’m sure someone will send me something titled; “Inventor dies in bizarre accident when science fair project only flies for three minutes, not six.

Thank you for the great article Jeff!  Click here for more information on the skywalker jet pack and be sure to visit the gallery to see larger versions of the pictures in the article.